Isn't Building Self Esteem in Children Cheaper than Buying

some medieval knight's armor to protect your child during the teenage years?

The bad news is that even if you would want to buy some armor nobody sells it. The good news, however, is that you can get it for free! All you have to do is to build your child's self esteem! It's as simple as that! Studies show that there is a direct correlation between low self esteem and drug use, low self esteem and teenager pregnancies low self esteem and teenager pregnancies , and low self esteem and gang involvement. Build her self esteem and chances are that they will enter teenage-hood and exit it unscarred!

Interestingly the best way to build self esteem in your children is to set limits, make reasonable demands from them, and insist on good discipline. Children brought up "that anything goes" with no rules or limits can suffer from low esteem and have a difficult time "making it through" the teenage years.

There are a few reasons for this:

1. Self esteem is built on accomplishments. Any task, no matter how small, that is a challenge but you succeed to do it builds self esteem. When parents don't make any demands on their children they deprive them of the tremendous pleasure of succeeding.

2. Another way to build self esteem is by giving praise. (Don't make the mistake, though, and give general and all encompassing compliments like, "Johny you ALWAYS do great on your tests!" Or "George, you are such a good boy. You NEVER "start up" with your friends!" You can't fool your children into thinking that they are ALWAYS good. They know the truth that nobody is ALWAYS anything. If you give this sort of praise there is a big chance that you will lose credibility in their eyes.)

In a house where there are no limits and no demands it is hard to finds thing to worthy of compliments. However in a house where there are demands and limits, whenever they struggle to stay within the limits or carry out a demand there is an opportunity to give genuine praise.

3. Self esteem is boosted by being part of a group. Good healthy interaction with people builds self esteem. In a home where the family eats together at least a few times a week and where there are activities done with the whole family your child feels a sense of belonging and their self esteem grows.

4. The fact that you take the time to make rules and that you care enough for her to see that she follows these rules relay a message to her that she is important. In extreme cases, teens with low self esteem are self destructive (like to take hard drugs or commit bad crimes) to get some attention from their parents.

(Jay McGraw in Life Strategies for Teens tells about a boy who was popular but whose parents were very busy in their respective careers and were not too involved with his life. He was once caught at a party where there were drugs and his parents sent him to rehab. He wasn't a heavy user at all, but his parents wanted to be on the safe side. While he was there his parents visited him every day and when he finally came out, after having all of this attention from his parents, he looked great. Life returned back to the norm, his parents returned to their work, and ... he was back in rehab. This repeated itself a few times until the drugs got the best of him and a little while later he became a statistic. Pretty scary, no?)

I'm not saying that it is easy to discipline children in order to build their self esteem, especially teenagers. However it is surely cheaper and more effective than buying some medieval knight's armor to protect them from the difficulties of their teenage years.

You agree that it's a great idea but you are wondering how do you do it? Click here Building Self Esteem in Children:10-tipsl. You'll be happy you did.