Are Your Child's

Bedtime Problems

Wearing You Down?

It is 10 p.m. and the bedtime battles are in full swing. For the past two hours you have been trying to get your 4 year old to sleep. Oh, let's face it, it could be a 2 year old, 8 year old or 12 year old. When it comes to bedtime, age is not an issue - they are all out to get us.

See if this scenario isn't familiar. At 8:00 p.m., you tucked your sweet little angel into bed. Maybe you read a story or two. Then you kissed your child good night, clicked off the light and the dance began.

"Mommy, I'm thirsty." OK, your patience hasn't been tested yet so you smile sweetly as you get you little sweetie a little water in a glass. Your child smiles disarmingly (they really know how to play off that cute thing, don't they?), hands the glass back to you and you think you are home free. This activity alone will likely be repeated, oh, 20 or so times throughout the evening. It is cute the first 12 or so.

When the water thing doesn't seem to be working, you may hear, "Daddy, I'm hungry." If you show any disdain regarding this announcement it will likely be followed up with, "But I didn't have enough dinner." Well, we don't want our children to STARVE, do we?

So, there goes another 15 minutes or so as you get some cereal or a fold over peanut butter and jelly sandwich (all the while making a note to yourself to encourage your child to join the clean plate club the following evening). Now you have to get a wet wash cloth to clean the jelly from your child's face (and hands and hair - next time it's crackers and cheese!) while explaining that it is time to go to sleep.

"I'm thirsty." (are you gritting your teeth yet? Don't worry, you will be. Kids and bedtime problems can test Mother Theresa's patience!)

So, you get the dang water, give it to the kid and prepare your escape.

"I have to go to the bathroom." You pause in the doorway, your back to your "sweet little angel" (who isn't looking so sweet or angelic about now), hold your breath, count to ten to compose yourself and turn around to help your little one to the bathroom, all the while gaining a whole new understanding of why some animals eat their young.

Or maybe you have one of the "affectionate" children. These are the ones you really have to watch. They are cute and they know it. They know just how to play that cute and manipulate you into walking right into their devious little web. They smile to show off those adorable dimples and reach pudgy little arms to you while they say, "Mommy, I want a hug!" Many a kid has gained an extra 15 or even 30 minutes with this sly little tactic and many a mom has been duped into falling for it.

Older kids have their own set of bedtime battles ammunition. There is the mysterious test that is suddenly remembered and they absolutely MUST study for it, or the project that is due. Then there is the all time classis, "NOBODY in my class has to go to bed this early!"

So, what is the best course of action for bedtime problems? Obviously the real motive is to be able to stay up longer. You know they really aren't hungry and NO ONE can drink THAT MUCH water! So how do you deal?

Your knee jerk reaction may be to fuss and yell at them, saying things like "You just drank!" or, when you are at your wit's end and not thinking so clearly, "Go in your pajamas!" But we all know that is not effective.

One of the first steps to take to solve bedtime problems is to find out why they don't want to go to sleep.

• Are they afraid of something? Children can come up with some of the most outlandish things, but it can make bedtime a nightmare.
• If your child is just wound up, then maybe you should take steps to make their bedroom more conducive for sleep. Turn off the video games and television about an hour or 30 minutes before bedtime. Read them a story or sing them a song to help them wind down.
• Sometimes there is just too much going on. If you have guests that are noisy or the rest of the family is staying up, then maybe you can bend the rules a bit. Give them an extra 15 minutes or so. This often works wonders.

Bedtime for children can be trying, but if you find the underlying reasons for the fuss and fidgeting bedtime problems can become a thing of the past. Consider this, though. Perhaps your child is engaging you in bedtime battles not to send to you the funny farm, but to get your attention. Maybe all your child needs is more of you.

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