Building Self Esteem Builds a Strong Marriage!

Married life is sometimes difficult even when both partners perceive themselves in a healthy way. After all, happy couples are not saved from marital stress caused by children, financial problems, and the absence of one spouse. But, if one spouse harbors a low self-esteem, it can cause an otherwise happy marriage to slowly crumble.

In this article, you'll learn several ways in which low self-esteem contributes to a failing relationship and why building self esteem in your spouse and in yourself is worth your effort.

• Poor Communication: This is one of the primary problems from which many other issues stem. Poor communication in a marriage can manifest itself in several damaging ways. When a spouse who suffers from low self-esteem takes issue with something that the other spouse does or says, that person may seek refuge inside themselves rather than talking to the other person. In holding back their feelings, emotions and thoughts, existing issues can often seem exaggerated and insurmountable.



• Failing To Listen: A damaging side effect of poor communication is a tendency to not hear what the other person is saying. The spouse with low self-esteem may be distracted by the internal conversation she is having within. The other spouse may grow weary of resolving issues by listening because he fails to understand what his partner is going through. This breakdown in the communication process can create a wedge between the partners.



• Arguments About Trivial Things: When one spouse suffers from low self-esteem, that person may try to camoflouge major issues, which really bothers her, and discuss less-important or trivial problems. He deludes himself that the partner will understand what really is bothering him.
  
  The problem is that her spouse is typically unable to infer the real issue because it has not been clearly communicated. As both partners become frustrated, they often begin arguing about matters that have little to do with the real issues.



• Lack Of Intimacy: A marriage in which one spouse has low self-esteem will typically lack strong intimacy. This could be due to a couple of reasons. First, the partner with poor self-esteem may simply feel inadequate (due to her own perception or a perception encouraged by her spouse). Second, she may not feel worthy to have an intimate experience with anyone.



• Growing Resentment: When one spouse's self-esteem is damaged, that person can begin to internalize and personalize issues. Over time, resentment builds for the other spouse. This is due largely to not being comfortable communicating about these issues. When partners stop talking to each other and one begins personalizing problems, both spouses can often develop a lingering resentment for the other person.