Recognize

Causes Of Sibling Rivalries

To Restore Household

Tranquility

Sibling rivalry simply means that there is hostility or antagonism between siblings. The intensity of the rivalry varies in every situation; it can be as simple as not sharing a toy or pulling hair, to something more serious like an actual fist fight.

As long as the sibling's rivalry is very mild; then nothing major should be done to stop it. Just realize that it is natural and normal and wait for it to pass over.

If however it reaches the stages of physical fighting etc. then you must deal with it. If it is not dealt with properly, sibling rivalry can actually cause permanent damage to a sibling's relationship and all of their adult relationships.

Before you begin to work on the actual problem, it is a good idea to first understand the causes of sibling rivalry.

1. A part of being an emotionally healthy growing child is to to define exactly who they are as person. In this proccess of discovering themselves, they also discover their own interests, talents and activities and want to show their parents that they are unique.

   Therefore, when they feel that they don't get the proper amount of time to show their parents their uniqueness, t strains in sibling relationships begin to develop.

2. Many children believe they are receiving unequal treatment, attention, responsibility and discipline. They have a warped sense of how they are being treated, compared to how their siblings are being treated.

   Although they may be receiving the same amount of attention and the same amount of discipline, they don't see it that way.

   For instance, if you have an older child and a younger child, they may go to bed at different times or the older sibling may have extra privileges.

   This perceived jealousy causes them to be resistant to any positive relationship with their sibling.

3. Children with low self-esteem are extremely dissatisfied with themselves and therefore, look to others for validation. If they are not receiving the validation they feel they need, then they may seek alternate ways of getting the attention. Fighting with a brother or sister (especailly a younger one) is sure fire way of getting attenion.
4. The arrival of a new baby causes a lot of children to feel like their family and sibling relationship are threatened. This fear causes them to act out towards their younger sibling.
5. Families where there is no clear line of right and wrong, children will often fight with each other.
6. Younger children often get away with more than an older child does. In some cases this is because parents become more relaxed with the more kids they have. This causes jealously between siblings and fighting between brothers and sisters.
7. Many times, older children are put in a position of responsibility for younger siblings. In some instances, the older sibling will take out their frustrations on the younger sibling.

In short, there are many different causes of sibling rivalry. It is important that you evaluate each situation and take into account all of the different factors. In many instances, however, there is no need to worry because children will outgrow the rivalry and can go on to be the best of friends.

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