What Do Think Is the Father's Role In Parenting

The trend today in a lot of circles is to look at the father's role in parenting as something non-significant; something of the past. I (and many government studies, also) totally disagree with this opinion.

Although the times are definitely changing and the world is certainly evolving, the father still plays a central role in bringing up his children.

My experience of being a father (I'm the father of 12 children-ages 7-28) has taught me that although the father's role in parenting is vital to raise emotionally healthy and successful chidlren, his role changes according to the ages of the children. This is the way my role has changed over the years:

The Father's Role in Parenting When the Children are Very Young

When my children were very young I felt my main job in the house was to help my wife:

To wash dishes, do the laundry, and bathe the children.

When needed to put the kids to bed. Young children generally go into bed easier when the father is around than when only the mother is home.

My wife was a "stay at home mom" for many years so simply having another adult speaking to her about things other than laundry, who's turn it is to take out the garbage, and answering the age old question of what's for supper literally saved her sanity!

Just to tell and show my wife that I appreciate all that she does for my children and to make my house a nice place to live.

The Father's Role in Parenting When the Children are Very Teenagers

When my children began to grow up my role changed drastically. I no longer needed to help run of the house; I had three teenage daughters who helped my wife with the cleaning, cooking, and taking care of the small children. My main role during this stage was:

Making firm rules and making sure that they kept them. Like the saying goes, "It's a tough world out there" and a major part of the parents' job is to help their children "make it through". My wife is more compassionate and not as firm as me. Therefore I had the job of making and enforcing rules (curfews, homework, etc.).

Talking to them, talking to them and continue to talk to them. To make and enforce rules without having a good rapport doesn't work so well. Therefore I would talk to my teenagers every night on what interests them. This took lots of time but was extremely helpful in building my rapport with them and helping to have them listen to the rules.

The Father's Role in Parenting With Adult Children

This is the most fun stage of parenting! I just listen, talk, and enjoy them. When they have a problem they come to me and ask my advice (as opposed to when they were teenagers when they would never ask me my advise on anything) and I also ask their advise on things that they know better than I do.

Don't minimize the father's role in parenting. With a father's firmness and discipline and with a mother's warmness and compassion your childrne will grow with positive values and self confidence for productive and happy lives.

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