Try Marriage Self Help To Help Yourself and Save Your Sanity.

Most people dream of having a good marriage in which they have a give/get relationship and feel one with their spouse. Unfortunately it doesn't always work out like this. You wake up one morning (maybe only after having a few children) and realize that you made a BIG mistake. Your spouse is super controlling, abusive, or simply hard to connect with. At this moment you feel that you are now an official member of the "unhappily married club".

You rule out divorce because you don't feel strong enough to go through the whole ordeal of divorce, you don't have the financial means to live by yourself, or you are scared of the emotional scars that your children will suffer. Going to marriage counsel-ing is also out of the question because of the cost or the anger that it will raise in your partner.

You think to yourself, "I need to learn some marriage self help ideas , and I need them quickly before I "totally flip!"

If you are unhappily married and divorce is out of the question then the best marriage self help idea is to help and "salvage" yourself.

• Keep yourself busy. If you are busy you don’t have time to fret about the little things. Saving a marriage and being happy doesn’t have to be something the two of you do, it is possible to change your views and work things out from your side of the relationship. Before you got married you probably had hobbies that you aren’t as active in. Now is a good time to get back to doing these things.
• Spend time doing things that make you happy. Being unhappily married can cause you to start looking for reasons to be unhappy. Spending time doing things that make you happy will help your mood and this can work to improve the overall feelings and emotions in your household.

  Join groups in your area that have like interests such as taking a painting class. You can start up a new exercise routine or take classes at your local college. These all will help you to improve your mood and can inspire the same in your partner.

Show love to other family members. If you got married with the plan of devoting yourself and showing love to your spouse and getting that love back in return, things can become awkward and frustrating.

Some people have difficulty showing their emotions. This doesn’t mean they don’t have them. If showing love isn’t something your spouse is good at then, instead of getting upset about how you aren’t getting the love you long for, you can choose to share this type of relationship with other family members instead.

Show love to your children and teach them from a young age to show love back. Work on having this type of relationship with other family members instead of insisting on making your spouse change who they are and how they show love.

This can be one of the simplest ways to get rid of your disappointment and a powerful way to save a marriage.

• Look for the hidden benefits of an unhappy marriage. Saving a marriage can be as simple as evaluating what you are getting out of being in the unhappy relationship in the first place. Think deeply about what you are getting from this relationship and what you have learned.
  1. The relationship is teaching you to take responsibility for your own happiness and not to let your happiness sit in someone else’s hands.
  2. By continuing this relationship and making the best of it you have learned to be proactive.
  3. Giving love to your spouse and doing the little things that are often taken for granted without expecting to get anything in return teaches you to be a more giving person. This makes you a better person. You are now trained to give with no plans or hopes of getting back in return.
  4. You learn to appreciate the little things in life while you are realizing that the issues that are irritating you may not be as important as you thought they were. The few times that you do get love and affection from your spouse, you are able to appreciate it more because you didn’t expect it as a repayment for something you had done.
  5. Fighting to turn around an unhappy marriage can teach you to be assertive and can help you to learn who you are. Watching you while you work on bettering yourself and making your relationship work can inspire improvements in your spouse as well.

You surely dreamed and looked forward to have a good marriage and you weren't looking to be unhappily married. But now that you are in this difficult situation and you use the above marriage self help tactics to help yourself you will be happier and feel more fulfilled than you ever imagined.

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